c u r m u d g e o n

November 10, 2001

We're off to lovely Rancho Cordova! Bye bye coochie, I'll send e-mails when I get back.

posted by Fender Bender at 10:42 AM

November 8, 2001

I went to high school with this girl. It's a little disconcerting to see old chemistry partners flauting their goodies for slutty men's magazines, but whatever puts bread on the table. Actually, she's a singing sensation over in Hong Kong who's been described as the Chinese Britney Spears. Scary! Does she do the centepide on stage? I doubt it. But cleavage sells so I guess she and Britney are tighter than I thought.

I'll be the first to admit I have a mild (mild!) obsession with old classmates. In typical fashion, I gritted my teeth through every lame semester while subjected to daily pummelings from the cool kids. But now I want to know what they're doing! We have an international pop star, yes, but what of the lesser-endowed populace? Who climbed Everest? Won the Preakness? Got the Ph.D.? Got married? Is now richer than a porn king?

A quick trip to Google informs me: not a damn one. To wit:

- The three most popular kids in my class (Ms. HK Popstar excepted) are alcoholic (though they could have been an MLB pitcher, too bad so sad), serving time on weapons charges (an UZI, apparently), and have three kids out of wedlock, respectively. The kids thing isn't so shocking, but three of them? Even I paid attention in Sex Ed.
- One formed their own non-profit, and one is a hardcore women's advocate. Righteous.
- One curates the SF International Airport Museum.
- One became a prolific journalist in Milwaukee.
- One's a forest ranger.
- One manages the Chinatown YWCA.

The rest, I assume, ended up like me. God help them.

So I was wrong. My class (that's '93 for the disbelievers) actually came out alright, if slightly dysfunctional. My recurring fantasy is to see someone from high school on the street, but they don't recognize me because I've changed so much since eight years ago.

posted by Fender Bender at 11:02 PM

I've been SO bad with e-mails lately...sorry!

posted by Fender Bender at 7:45 PM

November 7, 2001

The erosion of hope and dreams and sanity I call The Daily Existence gets worse every day I'm not employed. For those who don't know, I was arrogant enough to quit my last job without having lined up a new one. For shame -- what a cocky little prick I've been. Come jump into my nightmare! Let's all take a cruise into Scott's Unemployed Life!

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Think to myself, might as well keep a regular schedule since I'm getting that job soon anyway (mental facilities still dreaming at this point). Roll out, shower, consider that big bowl of cereal but brrrr! it's so cold, wish I had some oatmeal! Grab the keys. Walk out to the gas station, pick up the Chronicle. Forget the news, go right to the classifieds. Scanning...scanning...oh here's one! No wait, MBA required....Oh, here! No, it's in Hayward...shit! Scanning...scanning...watch out for that car! Whoa!...Scanning....fuck! Line cook? Hmmm....

Get back home. Amble up to the computer. Here's the problem: I'm looking for an editorship. Funny, since I'm not all that hot at maintaining this site, but humor me here. It's all I really know how to do. Used to be craigslist had five or six editor listings a day. Now we're lucky to see one every three days. Post-9/11, the majority of local publications are firing and consolidating. Those that are hiring in these bleak times aren't interested in some kid fresh out of college, and certainly not one without the standard twenty-clip portfolio. Ex-squeeze me? Who came up with twenty clips? Seems excessive. Anyway, what it all boils down to is this nexus of freshly-unemployed reporters and editors all clamoring for the same job at the same time. I used to snottily turn my nose at mere copy editor jobs. Now I'd give my left nut to just get an interview!

So back to the computer. I uncovered this ad, kind of hidden amongst the clutter. Hmmm...reporter-slash-photographere...pay's good...excellent benefits...offices worldwide, I like that...what's this? Position available immediately? Young, inexperienced, and those of color encouraged to apply? Promotion potential within three months?! No way! And then I see it, the crushing blow: Accelerate Your Life. Join the Navy.

Fuck.

Blogging's not cool without funny stuff to talk about...

posted by Fender Bender at 8:41 PM

November 6, 2001

Hold on...I'm thinking...

posted by Fender Bender at 1:03 PM

rewind, yo.