In light of school shootings and general overall pandemonium nationwide, my office organized, sponsored, and moderated a youth forum last week on the subject of suburban violence and mayhem. Some highlights:

- Those on the panels are not mad they get picked on. They have come to terms with the fact that, in general, kids are bastards, twits, cocksuckers, etc. What they don't accept is the lack of people willing to listen to their troubles. Getting rid of the bully is second to a friendly ear. Not earth-shattering, but I put it out there.

- If you're a jock, it's a bad time to be in high school.

- If you're pretty, it's a bad time to be in high school.

- If you're popular, it's a bad time to be in high school.

- Those on the panel fantasize about killing jocks, princesses, and B.M.O.C.'s. Then they go to sleep, wake up, and fantasize some more.

- White kids are at a crossroad. The ones on the panel (some of them anyway) felt they had no right to be angry at anything. After all, they said, they were white. They were privileged. They had no grounds for complaint. I admit I've been a proponent of this white-people-can't-bitch-about-shit mantra, but let's be realistic. Anger emanates from many sources, not just class and race.

- Kids who fantasize about whacking the quarterback/prom queen also fantasize about fucking the quarterback/prom queen. In other words, the idea of a loner, asexual, antisocial killer needs to be reevaluated. Klebold and Harris may have spoken to the marginal student, but certainly they didn't speak for them. A fine difference.

- Overall consensus: The only reason we care about high school shootings is because white kids are the ones dying. Not one to get flamed, I'll resist comment on this one

Which brings us to the issue of "character development" in school. The next big thing in education nowadays is programs and classes designed to teach anger management, active listening, racial sensitivity, ad infinitum. Sounds groovy, but eerily reminiscent of the sex-education movement of the late '60s in which parent-child socialization was taken out of the home and into the classroom.

Doesn't it seems logical, though, that a detached society would first mend itself at home, not at school? Classroom curriculums are decided not by teachers or administrators, but by marketing and PR people. After all, textbook publishers have to sell their ideas to the powers that be -- even if it won't do your kids a lick of good.

I think I'm experiencing hormonal flux.
posted by Fender Bender at 4:32 PM

April 25, 2001